tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21592156675435568502024-03-13T21:52:08.142-07:00Life With ArthritisI'm a thirty-something year old suffering with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I find writing therapeutic and also like sharing my story with other arthritis sufferers who might benefit from knowing they're not alone. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974366838187293297noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159215667543556850.post-71975311590741973162013-09-18T17:19:00.001-07:002013-09-18T17:19:03.668-07:00Medication Sucks!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">Sometimes I wonder
if my arthritis medications are really worth it. I had my second Simponi Injection yesterday
and for the whole night my head felt like I had taken a week’s supply of
steroids but my body didn’t have any energy.
Of course this resulted in me having a massive headache today and felt
more exhausted than usual. I know you don’t
get the benefits of the injection straight away, probably won’t feel the
benefits for another month or so, but you don’t expect them to make you feel
worse. My head felt like I could do anything;
get up and run a marathon, scrub the entire apartment with a toothbrush or
clear out all the clutter in my room but my body refused to move. So all I could do was stay in bed with my
thoughts. Lying in bed with all these
thoughts racing and spinning around my head driving myself crazy isn’t my idea
of fun, especially knowing that spending too much time overthinking things is
very bad for my depression. If I wasn’t suffering
with a chronic illness would my depression have improved by now? If the new medication doesn’t work soon how
much worse will my condition get before I find something that does work? Will I have improved by this time next year
or how will I be suffering in 5 years’ time?
I have so many thoughts and questions running around my head that I can’t
answer. I know I shouldn’t be thinking
like this but my head just wouldn’t stop.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">I’m also
questioning why my other medication doesn’t seem to be working. I’ve been on a higher dose of Methoject now
for four months and my arthritis seems worse instead of better. The pains in my wrists and hands are worse
than they used to be, the pains in my face, jaws and head are a lot more frequent
than they used to be and my energy levels are still as low as ever. Why am I injecting myself every week with
this horrible stuff if it’s not even working?
Would I be way worse if I stopped it?
I feel like every week I seem to have a new problem and it’s really
getting me down. I’m starting to feel
like a complete hypochondriac and I’m starting to worry that people will think I’m
making up all these problems. You couldn’t
possibly make up these pains and feelings as you couldn’t describe the pains if
you’ve never experienced them. And the
feeling in your body like there’s a battle going on inside you between the good
cells and bad cells and all the cells are fighting so hard it wears you out; no
one could make that up if you weren’t experiencing it. Hopefully someday soon this medication will
start to do what it’s supposed to do and the good cells will win the
battle. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974366838187293297noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159215667543556850.post-35855209816528128402013-08-31T20:04:00.000-07:002013-08-31T20:04:42.587-07:00My Daily Life<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: purple;">We are all creatures of habit; we do the same
things every day without even giving them a second thought. Daily tasks
such as getting up in the mornings, getting ready for work, making dinner and
household chores are all part of our lives. But when something happens
and you are unable to carry out all these tasks without difficulty, you realise
how much you u had taken simple things for granted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: purple;">Most of us struggle
to get out of bed in the mornings, but when you suffer with an illness such as
Rheumatoid Arthritis it can be much harder to get up. A lot of sufferers
wake with a lot of pain and swelling in their joints, others wake with zero
energy levels. For me it’s the lack of sleep that makes it so difficult.
On average I sleep for two to three hours a night, some nights I'm lucky
if I nod off at all. So when my alarm goes off in the morning I don't feel a
bit rested and would give anything to hide under the quilt for the day.
My arthritis symptoms seem to be flare up at night time. This week has
been a particularly bad week for me. The burning pain in my feet and
hands has been so unbearable I've been getting out of bed and using ice packs
to relieve the swelling. It takes a few
hours before I can get enough relief to go back to bed and by that time it's
almost time to get up again. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: purple;">When I finally give
in and get out of bed (after a few fights with my alarm clock) I then have to
shower and get dressed. Getting dressed
isn't as easy as it used to be, it’s a slower process these days and simple
things like tying my bra strap with dodgy wrists is proving very difficult.
Doing my hair isn’t much fun either when I can see every day how much
more it’s after thinning. I was never blessed with a thick head of hair
so losing some of what I have is very depressing. My breakfast consists
of a bit of food, some tablets and on some mornings an injection and then it's
time to head off to work. As the day goes on my fingers and wrists become
so tired and painful that I end up having to wear wrist supports and my writing
is so bad I struggle to read my own writing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">When I get
home in the evening I am so tired all I want to do is go to bed, not to sleep
but just to lie down for a while. Making
dinner is a big effort, I usually don’t have the energy and when I do, things
like chopping vegetables and peeling potatoes are hard to do. Cleaning tasks such as hoovering, polishing
and ironing don’t get done half as much as they should; not because I don’t want
to do them but because I’m just not able. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">Doing
other activities such as walking or other exercise, going to the pub or any
other form of socialising is practically non-existent at the moment. I didn’t want to stop all these things, I
feel like I’ve been forced to stop because of the tiredness and lack of energy,
the pain which restricts a lot of what I can do and my lack of self-esteem which
is now becoming as bad as my arthritis.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">Having arthritis
has changed my daily life in so many ways I never thought it would. So I suppose it’s only natural it has
affected my mood too. It’s upsetting and
frustrating not being able to do things I used to do. It’s exhausting going through every day with
only a couple of hours sleep each night.
Most days I feel like it would be so much easier to stay in bed and hide
away from the world than it would be to get up and face my life. I could wallow away in self-pity without
annoying anyone with my problems. But
realistically I know that won’t help.
The best thing I can do is carry on doing as much as I can for the
moment and hope that over time my symptoms will improve. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974366838187293297noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2159215667543556850.post-68387037358204912342013-08-10T19:34:00.002-07:002013-08-10T19:34:32.938-07:00Being Me With Arthritis<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">We all want
to believe in a better future but trying to be positive about the future isn’t easy
when the present is so hard. The
feelings of hopelessness, sadness and loneliness are so strong it’s hard to
believe I will overcome them. I want to
believe things will get better but I can’t. Struggling through depression the
last few years has been difficult enough, but now I’m suffering with an actual
physical illness that I’m finding really hard to cope with. I wish I was strong enough to deal with the
daily struggles I am faced with, but having been depressed for about eight
years now I haven’t the emotional strength or the spirit I need to help myself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">Before I was
diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, I didn’t really know what it was; I still
don’t fully understand it. I knew it was
a condition that affected joints and caused pain, but I didn’t realise that it
affected your whole body; your joints and muscles, immune system, organs and
skin. I didn’t realise that this
constant exhaustion I am feeling is a part of it or constantly feeling
generally unwell. I was confusing a lot
of the symptoms with depression symptoms and couldn’t understand why I was having
all those feelings again when I had come so far. My lack of interest in doing anything, my
struggle to get up and get going every day, my struggle to stay focused on my
daily tasks, was this me being completely depressed again or is it part of my
arthritis? Has my arthritis caused my
depression to take a massive step backwards or is my depression making my
arthritis seem worse than it is? Maybe
it would be easier to deal with if I knew for definite that it was all part of
a physical condition because eventually I will find the right treatment and all
these feelings will be cured. But if it’s
all part of being depressed I’m not sure if I can find my way back again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">It’s been
almost a year now since I was diagnosed and I’m not feeling any better despite
all the medication I’ve been on. In fact,
if anything I’m worse. I have pains now
in places I didn’t have last year. Some
days parts of my body refuse to work and when they do work the pain can be
almost unbearable. The pain I feel is
hard to describe; it feels like I have hot broken glass going through by bones
or hot nails stabbing into my bones. I
still feel as exhausted as I did over a year ago and I still have that feeling
of pressure in certain areas, which I now know is inflammation of tissue, not a
heart problem which I thought I had due to the constant pressure I had in my
chest. I know finding the right
treatment can take time; some people are lucky to find something that helps
them straight away. I, on the other hand
try things that give me all the side effects, like constant nausea and losing
my hair, and none of the benefits. I am
now waiting to start a new medication and I hope that this will be the one that
will suit me. I want to be positive
about starting something new but I don’t want to get my hopes up either so I’ll
just have to see how it goes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Calligraphy";"><span style="color: purple;">If this new
treatment works out then maybe I can start doing things that will help my
well-being like walking and some other forms of exercise, which at the moment I
feel unable to do as I’m too exhausted.
I might also be able to do a few social activities. One of the things that really get me down is
the fact I have lost contact with a lot of friends. I’d love to be able to go out more and spend
more time with friends but I just don’t have the energy. Now they have all moved on with other friends
and plan things without me and while this upsets me, I can’t really blame
them. They don’t understand how I’m
feeling so they probably think I’m just not interested in doing what they’re
doing. I really miss having a laugh on a
night out and having a good chat with friends.
Hopefully if I start to feel better I’ll have those nights again. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00974366838187293297noreply@blogger.com1