We are all creatures of habit; we do the same
things every day without even giving them a second thought. Daily tasks
such as getting up in the mornings, getting ready for work, making dinner and
household chores are all part of our lives. But when something happens
and you are unable to carry out all these tasks without difficulty, you realise
how much you u had taken simple things for granted.
Most of us struggle
to get out of bed in the mornings, but when you suffer with an illness such as
Rheumatoid Arthritis it can be much harder to get up. A lot of sufferers
wake with a lot of pain and swelling in their joints, others wake with zero
energy levels. For me it’s the lack of sleep that makes it so difficult.
On average I sleep for two to three hours a night, some nights I'm lucky
if I nod off at all. So when my alarm goes off in the morning I don't feel a
bit rested and would give anything to hide under the quilt for the day.
My arthritis symptoms seem to be flare up at night time. This week has
been a particularly bad week for me. The burning pain in my feet and
hands has been so unbearable I've been getting out of bed and using ice packs
to relieve the swelling. It takes a few
hours before I can get enough relief to go back to bed and by that time it's
almost time to get up again.
When I finally give
in and get out of bed (after a few fights with my alarm clock) I then have to
shower and get dressed. Getting dressed
isn't as easy as it used to be, it’s a slower process these days and simple
things like tying my bra strap with dodgy wrists is proving very difficult.
Doing my hair isn’t much fun either when I can see every day how much
more it’s after thinning. I was never blessed with a thick head of hair
so losing some of what I have is very depressing. My breakfast consists
of a bit of food, some tablets and on some mornings an injection and then it's
time to head off to work. As the day goes on my fingers and wrists become
so tired and painful that I end up having to wear wrist supports and my writing
is so bad I struggle to read my own writing.
When I get
home in the evening I am so tired all I want to do is go to bed, not to sleep
but just to lie down for a while. Making
dinner is a big effort, I usually don’t have the energy and when I do, things
like chopping vegetables and peeling potatoes are hard to do. Cleaning tasks such as hoovering, polishing
and ironing don’t get done half as much as they should; not because I don’t want
to do them but because I’m just not able.
Doing
other activities such as walking or other exercise, going to the pub or any
other form of socialising is practically non-existent at the moment. I didn’t want to stop all these things, I
feel like I’ve been forced to stop because of the tiredness and lack of energy,
the pain which restricts a lot of what I can do and my lack of self-esteem which
is now becoming as bad as my arthritis.
Having arthritis
has changed my daily life in so many ways I never thought it would. So I suppose it’s only natural it has
affected my mood too. It’s upsetting and
frustrating not being able to do things I used to do. It’s exhausting going through every day with
only a couple of hours sleep each night.
Most days I feel like it would be so much easier to stay in bed and hide
away from the world than it would be to get up and face my life. I could wallow away in self-pity without
annoying anyone with my problems. But
realistically I know that won’t help.
The best thing I can do is carry on doing as much as I can for the
moment and hope that over time my symptoms will improve.